June 30, 2021 Article by 'America's Sex Toy Sweetheart'
Bringing sex toys or pleasure products into the bedroom can seem like a simple adventure to some. It can be easy, require little conversation and some couples just seem to clique when it comes to their toy selections and adventures. But what happens if you are someone who does not have the luxury of adding toys to the bedroom in such an easy manner? Maybe your partner is someone who has expressed dislike for toys or seems genuinely uncomfortable at the thought of adding pleasure tools to the bedroom. It is not the same conversation for any couple.
Either situation can result in real talk, discussions that we may not think we need, or discussions we may not want to have. The similarity lies in the catalyst; the toy or concept of using pleasure products. So how do toy’s play a role in furthering sex-based conversations? They give you a unique tool and talking point and can open the floor for additional wellness conversations.
It is important to remember that whether we think this conversation is irrelevant, it is always important. Talking about Sex Toys and other pleasure products opens a whole new world of intimacy and sensuality. Being vulnerable when it comes to these conversations can be hard, but we have the perfect tool to do so, our beloved toy.
- One of the most important parts of discussing a toy is consent. Surprises can be fun, but make sure you have the conversation ahead of time so that surprise does not get ruined when someone is not having a good time.
- Discuss likes and dislikes when it comes to external or internal stimulation. Yes…break it down to help make it easier to talk about.
- Having a hard time using words that will not make it feel awkward? Find toys with fun names, or engaging packaging, they exist and can make the conversation so much fun.
- Each product will carry its own dynamic in conversation. Keep that in mind when you introduce a pocket rocket vs. a 12” dildo. Be thoughtful about what each product experience entails, for example lube.
- Don’t use language to diminish someone’s interest in a toy or product that may not be for you. Using language like “weird, I would never, etc…” is never helpful and does not contribute to the positivity of the conversation.
- Stand up for your sexual health! If something sounds interesting and seems like it would fit well with your body and its desires…speak up! A genuine partner of good vibes will respect your voice and appreciate it.
- Take the initiative to bring up the toy conversation to your partner. Maybe it’s something they have been thinking about as well, or something broader on the sexual preference spectrum.
These are all suggestions on the different topics or subjects you could broach when it comes to adding sex products. These conversations do not have to be formal or fancy, and it doesn’t need to carry the weight of the “we need to talk” type conversation. Make it fun and flirty, surprise your partner or lover with an extra gesture. Toys are merely a platform for launching into much deeper levels of sexual wellness and sex toy products.
Our bodies deserve all the good things out there for us. Using sexual wellness products is not just about “adding a toy” to the bedroom. It is about taking control of what makes you feel good and gives you the voice or platform you can use to do so.